February 17, 2005

Christmas, Part Duex

My mom and brother stopped by yesterday, and it's actually the first time that we've seen them since before Christmas, so we exchanged gifts and made the front room look like it had wrapping-paper carpet. Marion, always the star, was surrounded in gifts yet seemed more interested in the bows. It doesn't matter how many microchips the toy has, it rarely can beat a good low-tech plaything.

It was nice to see (a section of) my family again, especially after the 'Great Reveal' of burried emotions, which I'll have to talk about in more detail later, because it's much too big. The short story is that, apparently, I'm "that guy" of my family. You know, the one that no one is really connected to, and no one really knows much about. Somewhere along the way, about 8 years ago, my family stopped being part of my life, and I stopped being part of the family, in all but formalities. Anyway, yes, another time, another story. It was nice to see them. There wasn't any notice of the fact that things were different now, but it was nice to see them anyway.

And Marion needs to have as many grandparents as she can get. Both Keleigh and I were lacking in grandparents for much of our lives (neither of us knew our grandfathers), so we really have a soft spot for the relationship between grand-people. I hope that even if my parents don't ever get to know me (and I'm not saying that's gonna happen necessarily), they take the time to get to know, and to get some playtime with Marion and our future children.


At 11:05 PM, Your MOM said...

8 years ago you became a rebellious teenager, left home for college, and never seemed to give a damn about us.

Yes all children rebell, that was expected, but they all make their way back. You however, seem to want to continue to be that child and continue to bring up how horrid you were treated.

You attended the college of your choice, you were allowed to live your life, we didn't pressure you to do anything you didn't want to, you didn't come home unless you had no other choice, you went to Scotland for study for 6 monthes, you called we came, you keep saying 8 years ago something broke and no one tried to fix it...you tell me what broke. Because I don't know, I can't fix it, if I had known what was wrong I would have tried. Now, I just keep getting it thrown in my face and it plastered all over the place for the whole world to see. So much for family privicy.

You keep saying that we don't know you. Do you in your great wisdom think that you know how we think and feel? Obviously, you think you know, but I don't think you have a clue. No more then we do about 8 years ago.

If you knew, 8 years ago there was a problem, then why is it just now that we are hearing about it? Why didn't YOU do something about it back then to let us know there was a problem?

Too many questions and no one can answer them completely. What do you want us to do now?

Please forgive me for being stupid and not knowing exactly what I should have done some 8 years ago. I am sure that someone else could have done it better. But you had the missfortune of being born by me.

At 10:35 AM, Anonymous said...

Lots of facts from MOM.I am not reading of a parent reaching out with love and understanding and a desire to right things...family is forever..speak from the heart here! All birds leave their nest, its not personal.Your mom neeeds to read "Run away Bunny". She doesn't know all you need from her is acceptance and LOVE.I am professional in this field and see this too often.

At 1:01 PM, Anonymous said...

Wow is Mom bitter, guilt-ridden or what? Still throwing out zingers about being a "know-it-all", etc.

Who cares at this point what broke? It doesn't make a damn bit of difference and discussing it will just dig open (quite obviously I might add) old scabs,wounds, guilts, and misperceptions.

How 'bout after 8 friggin' years let bygones by bygones and screw what ever someone was supposed to do "back in da day"? Life goes on, ya' all.

At 1:22 PM, Anonymous said...

This sounds just like my daughter. She did the exact same thing. I thought that I was the only one with a rebellious child. Now I don't feel so bad.

At 1:28 PM, Anonymous said...

When your own kids get grown up, you will finally understand what your mom is talking because at least one of them will do the same thing and be rebellious. I know, because I was the rebellious one in my family and now that my kids are grown my daughter did the same thing. So really, you should have some sympathy and respect for your mom. She did alot and went through alot for you.

At 1:48 PM, Anonymous said...

You can never satisfy a kid because they don't love you from the giving part, but from the receiving part. As long as you give, you are the good parent, as soon as you need and complain about something, the kid just doesn't get it. Especially for parents who have given much, their kid expects much. That's why when the kid grows up and dumps you, close the door behind and find something else to do with your life. The kid will be fine and hopefully will learn how valuable you were someday. The kid will never have a clue about your needs for respect, love, and kindness until history repeats itself.


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