Waking up Stupid

May I present to you the evidence that leaves no question as to whether or not I should be awake at night:

After leaving the room to get something for Keleigh, I returned and handed her the toothpaste. When she had the audacity to ask me what the toothpaste was for, I was appalled by her demanding attitude. When she went a step further and asked if I'd managed to acquire what I'd left the room to get, I was insulted, for no good reason.

You can't just expect a man to wake up and know what's going on, because if you do, he's very likely to return to you with a stupid look on his tired face, and a tube of Colgate Tartar Control in his hand.